How long has it been since you've attended church?

How long has it been since you took a bath?

Do any of these excuses sound familiar?

TEN REASONS WHY I NEVER WASH

1. I was forced to as a child. 

2. People who wash are hypocrites -- they think they are
     cleaner than everybody else.

3. There are so many different kinds of soap,
      I can't decide which is best. 

4. I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped. 

5. I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter. 

6. None of my friends wash. 

7. I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier. 

8. I can't spare the time. 

9. The bathroom is never warm enough in winter 
     or cool enough in summer. 

10. People who make soap are only after your money.